tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post6364207119569792772..comments2024-03-10T05:10:30.206-04:00Comments on The Write Soil: "O" is for Out loud EditingDawn M. Hamsherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17782257750640888264noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-45688294360114752552011-04-18T19:53:48.278-04:002011-04-18T19:53:48.278-04:00Brianna, Thank you. I'm so glad you are along ...Brianna, Thank you. I'm so glad you are along for the ride (on my book)!<br /><br />Umbrellalady, I don't know what I'd do without on-line Thesaurus and Rhymezone!<br /><br />Keena, Thanks for reading. I'll stop by your "O" soon!<br /><br />Petra at Penned Pebbles, Thank you so much for your suggestion for that sentence. I will be using it! I never picked up on the word <br />"running", but you are right!Dawn M. Hamsherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17782257750640888264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-65784222715997324362011-04-18T19:01:40.485-04:002011-04-18T19:01:40.485-04:00Great editing. I'd only change the following: ...Great editing. I'd only change the following: "As their eyes adjusted in the dim light, they could see his gray, brittle hair with white streaks running from his brow." I'd go with gray to match brittle, and I don't like "running". It somehow doesn't match the mood. Maybe just, with white streaking... :-) <br /><br />Thank you for stopping by and leaving kind words at the blog.Petrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07199528755284144670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-30255861385060221362011-04-18T18:14:19.798-04:002011-04-18T18:14:19.798-04:00Thx for sharing with us. It sure helps me.Thx for sharing with us. It sure helps me.Keenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04872631822031248926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-86711643426783268402011-04-18T18:06:17.171-04:002011-04-18T18:06:17.171-04:00This is a good example of editing. I try to teach...This is a good example of editing. I try to teach the kids at school that words are fluid and can be changed/improved. I usually hand them a thesaurus when they have done their first edit to help them improve their vocabulary.umbrellaladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06640257199319618306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-69711066364599785972011-04-18T11:21:24.119-04:002011-04-18T11:21:24.119-04:00Oooh! Very exciting! I agree with li about taking ...Oooh! Very exciting! I agree with li about taking out corpse. Great job editing this piece and thanks for sharing more of your book!Briannahttp://www.pocketfulofplaydough.pageek.com/wordpressnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-51401737669231983692011-04-18T06:32:32.354-04:002011-04-18T06:32:32.354-04:00Li, Thank you for the suggestion! I appreciate it....Li, Thank you for the suggestion! I appreciate it. I might go with "mummified corpse".<br /><br />BTW, I liked your "N" for Nostalgia.Dawn M. Hamsherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17782257750640888264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7138668239690270526.post-68633967829634472772011-04-17T19:02:06.433-04:002011-04-17T19:02:06.433-04:00Some great editing! The only suggestion I would ha...Some great editing! The only suggestion I would have would be to delete the word corpse (after mummy) as possibly redundant. Or use mummified instead of mummy if you want to keep corpse.)Would like to read more of the story.Lihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831231531918915804noreply@blogger.com