Tuesday, November 8, 2011

See * Photo * Write

Here is my entry for See Photo Write over at 1st Writes!


Jamal heard the village shouts from his place on his straw mat. His looked over to Mama, but she didn't move. He pushed her arm. She only groaned. 

He got up and walked weakly to the hut's makeshift wall and peeked out. His neighbors were running toward a truck that three white men had just gotten out of.

Visitors were sometimes bad, like when the soldiers took his brother, and sometimes good, like when they passed out food and clothes. He thought these white men looked good. He glanced back at his mother. What would she do? He looked over at the satchel. He knew what to do.

And imitating his Mama, he said, "Mama, you stay here where it is safe. I will see what the white men have for us."

He put the satchel on his naked body and had to hold it up so it didn't drag on the ground. Then he ducked under the doorway's black fabric and slowly walked toward the crowd. He only stumbled once.

Mama would be so proud of him. He was the man of the family now -- now that Rakoor was gone.


  1. OH, that hurts my heart. I love it. Well done.

  2. Dawn,

    Wow what heartfelt writing, I am with Erin, reading it made my heart hurt a bit. Thank you for sharing it.


  3. Super job! Loved the picture and the story you created with it as your inspiration.

  4. Peggy, Erin, Kandi, and Clee, Thank you so much for your comments! What a sweet little face that boy has. It makes my heart hurt too, I found him under a search under "starvation".


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