This book has potential, but it has some
first-time author mistakes.
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| Not actual Book Jacket |
Once the storyline gets going, it is fun and
well-paced, but it is missing the time element of travel. It moves from one big
scene to the next, never letting the reader feel like they are really roughing
it or experiencing Traboltia (and getting attached to it, which is necessary,
but never happens).
And the time element…Does the author think we
are stupid and don’t realize her timeline discrepancies? I get that the
parallel universes run on different time (2 weeks vs. 2 years), but her events in
Traboltia don’t add up! Are we talking hundreds of years or 50 years? While I
liked the plot and the characters, this almost ruined it for me.
Arrangement and placement of some chapters
seem out of order like they were slapped together. I had forgotten some of the
characters by the time they came around again. And, what about Ben? If he is
supposed to be the future king, he needs developed more because right now, I
could care less about him.
There is also the Christianity stuff. Jenesse
goes to church, Mr. Hodge prays, Whitney thanks Jesus – the author should have
either gone all the way with Christianity or she should have stuffed it. As is,
it is luke-warm and will turn non-Christians off and leave Christians wondering
if Danya gets “saved”.
And maybe worse of all was the cliff-hanger ending!
Did the author do that so that I’d be forced to buy her next book? When I’m
done reading, I want to be done! I will choose whether or not to buy the next
book.
Maybe the author will “get a clue” by Book 2,
but I won’t be buying it.
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Guess who wrote this? It was me! I wrote this about my own book (the one I am revising). The point is to anticipate what readers will be disappointed in and then later fix the problems, so that you NEVER EVER get a book review like this one. ;0)
Wow! You are one tough critic! ;-) Good for you! It's hard though to catch those discrepancies in your own story sometimes. That is why I have my family members read my manuscripts and critique me. That works pretty well for me...until my husband gets overly enthusiastic about it and starts advising how he would write particular scenes! I draw the line at that.
ReplyDeleteSherri, Thanks for the comment! This was a FUN exercise to do. I know what I hate when I'm reading a book and I don't want to make any of those mistakes in my book.
DeleteI'm glad you have your family to help you critique. My husband says he'll wait to see my book when it's a movie. LOL. He's a great guy, but he doesn't have the attention span to read books. If it is longer than a magazine article, it's a no go. LOL.
You got me :-) I was going to hang the reviewer out to dry for using "info-barf" not once but twice.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good method though - reading one's work with a dispassionate eye and picking it to pieces before someone else does.
Li, LOL. It was a VERY good exercise. It made me look at my book from reader's POV.
DeleteDawn, what a great task to give yourself. Rather than, "Am I ready to query?" ask - "How would my review read?"
ReplyDeleteIt seems that it would help the author take a step back and look at it as a reader, which may be even more useful than imagining oneself as an editor or agent. It really makes it about the story and enjoyment of reading.
Alana, Absolutely, when you pick your book apart, it does help you figure out where your weak spots are.
DeleteTough critique. If you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with. Good luck revising.
ReplyDeleteJill, Right! I actually had a ball ripping my book apart. I was laughing at myself for some of my mistakes.
DeleteWow, that is very tough with yourself. Maybe I should sit down and try to review my own novel and see if it would suck like that. Good luck revising!
ReplyDeleteKrista,
DeleteI think you would find reviewing your own book very beneficial! Good luck with you book too!
You certainly are tough on yourself! Hopefully you'll never get a review like that!
ReplyDeleteSherry,
DeleteI hope not! I'm taking "How to Revise Your Novel" by Holly Lisle and it is brutal, but what I am learning should make my book good (and then I won't ever get a review like that). :0)
Oh my goodness, I would probably bawl my eyes out if I got a review like that. I am very stingy about letting people read my writing right now as it is...scared first time book-sharer...you know? I'm still a baby writer, terrified people won't like what I write.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this...it was very helpful :)
Blessings to you!