Monday, June 27, 2011

Lovin' the Language Blogfest Post


Jolene B Perry is hosting this neat blogfest where you post 5 lines from your current WIP. 

Lowering his voice, Ben said calmly, “My mother works hard to feed us and you do not pay her fairly for her goods.  That will change.”

“Oh really! And who exactly is going to make me?  You -- a daft boy?” The merchant's big hand slammed the counter so hard the basket of eggs jumped and the man laughed at his own joke.  Then he wiped the spittle from his mouth with his hairy arm.

“No one is going to make you. You’ll want to."

21 comments:

  1. Jolene and Jo, Awesome! Thanks! Can't wait to get to all the sites and read the entries!

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  2. Nice, I wouldn't wanna be that second guy :P

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  3. Lovin' the imagery here - Then he wiped the spittle from his mouth with his hairy arm.

    That one line made me shiver with disgust and root for Ben.

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  4. Ooh, that sounds almost ominous. I'm interested!

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  5. Very Wowser! Now off to the next Blog-festie.

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  6. "He wiped the spittle from his mouth with his hairy arm." - What an image! Fantastic!

    Lucy

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  7. Very intriguing. Thanks for sharing!

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  8. Very interesting- makes me wonder why he will want to.

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  9. Cool! A glimpse into your book! Love it!

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  10. And, and? What happens next? :) You have me hooked.

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  11. All, thank you for the encouragement! This has been a fun little blogfest! I am enjoying reading the posts. There is some good stuff out there!

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  12. Oooh wow! I love this. I was completely intrigued by both what was said, how it was said, and the images you created in my mind. It made me sit up and read it twice! Nice job :)

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  13. Love the last line...totally intriguing.

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  14. Oooh! Want to know what happens next!

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  15. Ooh! Is that a threat? That sounds like a threat. :-)

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  16. Nick, Thank you for your comment. It totally made my day!

    Jennifer, Glad you liked the last line! I thought that was a good place to leave you hanging.

    Kate, Great! Then I've done my job! ;0)

    Sarah, Hmmm...not a threat, but let's just say something's going to happen!

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  17. I like how ominous this is. It's like the scene in the Godfather: "Either your signature or your brains will be on this contract." I'm paraphrasing, but it does have a sense of foreboding.

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I appreciate your comments! I try to respond to each one.