Monday, August 15, 2011

See Photo Write Challenge - Girl in the Mist

Wow, striking photo on 1st Write's See Photo Write (photo writing prompt) today!

Check it out and join us in writing. Just write about the photo and then linky it to 1st Writes.


Here is my response:

He watched her as he had so many times before, but today was different. Something was wrong. She walked out on the rocks without her friends today when daylight still glinted on the water. She sat there for hours, sometimes rocking back and forth, sometimes bent over hugging herself. Her usual perfect hair hung lifeless and her perfect preppy clothes were mussed. 

Danny looked out on the lake. He could no longer see the tree line. The mist was coming in and soon he wouldn't be able to see his hand in front of his face. He couldn't let her stay out there. She might slip in. He might lose her.

What should he do? His kind didn't talk to girls like Alisha. His kind watched them and dreamed about them, but didn't approach them. He would be in big trouble if anyone found out. He waited as long as he dared, then walked over by the shore. His heart was pounding and he could barely speak.

"H-hi," his voice cracked. "The mist is coming in. Y-you should come away from the water." He waited for what seemed a long time before she even looked up. When she did, her vacant tear-stained eyes slowly focused on him. 

"You. You're the one --the one who watches me."

Danny said nothing.

"You shouldn't be here you know." 

He nodded to himself and looked down.

She got up, walked off the rocks past him, and headed back to her parent's lake house.

He shouldn't have talked to her, but at least she was safe now. He followed behind her till he saw her enter the house. Then he stayed till he saw her bedroom light go on. He was about to turn away when he saw her come to the window. Was she looking at him? He couldn't tell for sure. Then her right hand touched the glass. 


  1. The start of love story, or something way deeper. You've left it wide open. Blessings!

  2. Lovely, spooky, mysterious, a hint of danger, a touch of love--what more could a reader want! Great writing, Dawn! Now, what's the rest of the story?

    Have a blessed day!
    Your blog buddy,

  3. Her right hand touched the glass...loved it.

  4. Petra -- Yepper!

    Shelly -- The "more" is in your own imagination. :0)

    Pam -- Wow! Glad you liked it so much!

    Susan - I liked that part too.

  5. Great start! I'd love to see where you take this. Why couldn't Danny approach her? I'm so curious :)

  6. Brianna, For you to imagine (in fact, I don't know why).


I appreciate your comments! I try to respond to each one.