Monday, April 25, 2011

"V" is for Verbs

A to Z Blogging Challenge: 

"V" is for Verbs


I mentioned on my "S" is for Short Words post that I really like Audrey Owen's Writing Tips. With her permission, I'm going to quote the part of Tip #5 (Use strong verbs and nouns) that deals with verbs.



The verbs are the action words. They put things in motion. Make yours as strong as possible.

The verb to be (am, is, are, was, were) puddles on the floor. Eliminate it wherever possible. I spent a year in Ukraine and experienced Russian, where the verb to be exists, but almost never appears. People simply leave it out and I found the effect powerful. In English we can't leave verbs out of our sentences, but we can make those we use work hard for us. 

Writing Exercise: Re-work this postcard letter and get rid of all "to be" verbs. Share your results in the Comments Section. Is it more powerful?

(text version below)

Lula, 
Jambo (that means "How are you?"). I'm going on safari! The guide is a native to the land and is known for catching big game. We are going to stay at the Hotel Timbili, which was rated with five stars. We were fortunate to find such good accommodations in such a rural area.
Your Sis,
Gabby

9 comments:

  1. Great exercise to keep in mind when editing. Sometimes using a different verb can change the whole feel of a scene.

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  2. Li, I agree. I haven't had a chance to do this exercise yet, but I am looking forward to comparing the original to the new to see how much of a difference it will make. I bet it will be big. I also hope others post their versions so I can see what verbs they decided on.

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  3. Wow, great info! Very helpful! I'll have to try this out while editing my book. :)

    ~Melissa
    Reflections on Writing

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  5. This was actually harder than I thought :)

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  6. This was actually harder than I thought :)

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  7. Lula,
    Jambo (that means "How are you?") I leave soon on Safari with a native guide known for catching big game. Imagine us after the safari as we swan around looking trés elegant in the Taimibli, a five star hotel hidden away in this rural area.
    Your Sis,
    Gabby

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  8. Audrey, Bravo! I love the "swan around looking trés elegant". That phrase is amazing.

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  9. My attempt:

    Lula,
    Jambo (that means "How are you?"). My long-awaited safari began! Our guide, Mumbabo, captures and wrestles wild lions! The illustrious Hotel Timbili features a spa! I can't wait to show off my new zebra-stripped bathing suit when we go poolside this evening! This oasis in the desert beckons to me after a sticky-hot day in a jarring jeep driving through dusty wasteland. How do the natives put up with the terrain?
    Your Sis,
    Gabby
    P.S. Frank bought a pith helmet!

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I appreciate your comments! I try to respond to each one.